Machete Page 13

  When I got outside, I hurried as fast I could to get to his house. I really wished I had a damn car because this would all be a whole lot easier for me. At least my adrenaline kept me going.

  I arrived at his house, ringing the doorbell three times before I started pounding on the door. I’d lost patience before I even got onto the porch, and I didn’t care. I needed to see his face. Right now.

  Becket was the one to answer the door, and I could breathe again. I dropped my backpack and wrapped myself around him. I pulled him down to me, planting kisses all over his face, trying to get words between them.

  “Oh.” Kiss. “Sweetie.” Kiss. “Are.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “Okay?” I kissed his forehead, neck, cheeks, jaw, literally everywhere but his mouth. Even with my crazy brain, I knew that would be too far.

  I stayed on my tiptoes, his face in my hands as I made him look at me. “I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart. Say something. Please.” He was so silent, and it terrified me.

  His eyes searched my face, then explored my body. No, not my body. Of course, not my body. He wouldn’t want that. Becket had to be looking at the dress, gaze lingering on parts of it. Like the lace at the front, tied together, almost like a corset. And the hips, where his hands were. My very pale legs, which were painfully on display right now. That was all he saw.

  “You look very nice,” he said to me, quiet and off.

  His hand left my hip and went to my face. He held it so gently that I couldn’t imagine he was even capable of killing someone. Obviously, I was wrong on that but Becket cradled my face as if it were a bubble he was afraid to pop. I would have let him hold me forever if that was an option.

  I put my hand over his, pressing my lips to his palm for a few long moments. “Tell me if you’re okay, sweetheart.”

  I couldn’t even be sure he would have told me, if we hadn’t heard a voice behind him. “Nice to see you again, Manny,” his father said.

  A growl built in my chest but I couldn’t do anything about it. I had to keep Becket safe, and attacking his father wouldn’t help him. I had to make other choices.

  Grabbing my backpack, I walked into the house. Becket closed the door behind us, and I placed myself between him and his father. The man dared to smile at me. I wanted to pull the teeth from his head.

  “You look lovely,” he told me. “What’s the occasion?”

  Oh, we were playing, were we? I could play. “I’m taking Becket out on a date. He should get a nice dinner and have some fun.”

  The man smiled at me. “Well, aren’t you a sweet girl?”

  I smiled right back at him. “Only until the second I’m not anymore.”

  He chuckled, pushing himself from the wall as he got closer to us. I didn’t move from my spot in front of Becket. “I like you a lot,” his father said. “You’re very interesting.”

  “Am I?”

  He nodded. “Most people stay away from my boy like he’s made of the plague.”

  “I’m not a dick, so...”

  “No, you’re a nice girl. A very nice girl. I bet you’ve never done anything to harm anyone in your whole life.”

  My hand went behind my back, searching for one of Becket’s. I touched his stomach, and then he gave me what I wanted. I held his hand tight, looking back up at the man who dared call himself a father.

  “None of us are that innocent, Dr. Anders. We all hurt people. I bet you have.”

  I watched him shrug. “I don’t lift a hand to anyone, my dear. Hitting is so primitive.”

  “Oh, but we both know there are a lot more ways to hurt someone than that. Your job is people, and playing with minds. You know better than this.”

  A slow smile spread on the doctor’s face. “You’ve got me there.”

  I turned, tugging on Becket’s hand. “Come on, baby. We should go now.”

  We nearly made it to the door before I heard Becket’s father again, his voice stopping us. “Wait,” he said, and that got Becket to stop moving.

  We both turned back to him. He’d gotten closer. I took my spot in front of Becket once more, ready to do whatever ugly thing I would need to, if it meant keeping him safe.

  “You said I could go,” Becket said. “Did you change your mind?”

  “Not at all,” he replied. “But I wasn’t finished talking to your friend here. If you don’t mind.”

  Crossing my arms, I said, “No, I would love to hear what you have to say.” You evil fucker.

  We stared at each other for what felt like a lot longer than the few seconds it had to be. I knew everything I needed to know already. I knew where to put the blame for the things that Becket had done, and I knew that he would keep doing it if I didn’t get Becket out of here. What did the man know about me? What did Becket tell him? That I cared about him enough to do something bad? No, probably not. Becket wouldn’t know that kind of thing unless I told him. Surely his father could assume things though.

  Maybe if I were smarter, I would have been afraid right now. Afraid that Dr. Anders would do the same thing to me that he did to that boy that liked Becket. If I had to guess, the only thing that made sense to me was that he made Becket do it. Would he try and make Becket kill me too? I wouldn’t hurt Becket but I could defend myself. That poor boy who died didn’t have my kind of magic. I could slit this man’s throat without effort. Then Becket wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

  But I couldn’t kill his father.

  Becket would be alone.

  And I didn’t really know how to take care of someone.

  I supposed this all gave a whole new meaning to that offer to kill my family that Becket gave me.

  “You very much like my son,” Dr. Anders said to me. “I can see that.”

  “Yes,” I said. “I care a whole lot for Becket. There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do to keep him safe.” It had been meant to sound like a threat but I might have screwed myself over with that one.

  It made the man smile. “Loyal. I like loyal. So interesting to see. There’s something I’m curious about though. Your abilities. I would like to know what you can do.”

  I tilted my head at him. “I told you I work flesh. Not much to it.”

  He started walking to us, and I pushed Becket out, out of pure instinct. But that wasn’t where the doctor was headed. Instead, he went to the front door. He opened it wide. When the man gestured for us to walk out, Becket’s lead brought me along with him.

  Dr. Anders slipped his hands into his pockets, grinning at me. “You can take my son out if you want but you need to do something for me first.”

  I glared at him, ready to fight. “What might that be?”

  He waited a beat, then looked to a man walking alone down the street, grocery bags in his hands. “I’ll let you have him, if you cut that man over there.” He nodded at him.

  “What?” I said in a breath.

  “Dad,” Becket stepped in.

  It only took a warning look to silence him. “You cut the man,” he said to me. “Or Becket stays here. And I’ll have to ground him for a week. No leaving his room unless I let him out. No contact with you, no phone calls. Nothing but that bedroom. The choice is yours.”

  Oh, but it wasn’t at all mine. He gave me an impossible choice but he had to know what I would pick, even before it was out of his mouth. Was that the game for him? Seeing what I would do for his son? He had to have a hint that I was aware of the shit that went on here. Otherwise, a week in Becket’s room wouldn’t have seemed so bad. But I knew that he probably wouldn’t feed him, or let him use the bathroom, or give him water. He would hurt my Becket if I didn’t hurt the innocent man across the street.

  “You can go home,” Becket said at my ear. “It’s okay.”

  It was not okay.

  I looked to his father, who waited with satisfaction on his face. It must be nice to have power. What he didn’t seem to be thinking about was that one, I cared a whole lot about Becket. Two, I was a fucking jeweler. I knew how to haggle.

  “I’m
keeping him,” I said. “All fucking night, and you’re not to contact him for anything, until he contacts you first.” If he wanted to play with me, I would play just as hard.

  “Deal,” Dr. Anders said.

  Swallowing hard, I looked to the man across the street who didn’t do a thing wrong. He was the cost to keep Becket safe for the night, and I would pay it. No one mattered as much as Becket did. I guess I never really had a heart to start with, so I may as well let Becket have the shriveled mess I kept behind my ribs.

  It was quick, the thin slash I put on the man’s back. I watched the baby blue shirt he wore turn red as he realized he’d been hurt.

  “Again,” the doctor said.

  My chest tightened, my eyes closing as I obeyed. I heard another scream, and I held back a whimper. He made me do it three more times before he released me.

  I stared at the man, bleeding and fearful for his wounds. I’d kept them razor thin to lessen the damage but they would sting. It wouldn’t fix a thing but I sealed them for him.

  “Wonderful,” Dr. Anders said to me. “You have a very useful skill.”

  Through my teeth, I said, “It’s done, and I’m taking Becket now.”

  “You may,” he said. “Thank you for demonstrating for me.”

  I exhaled. “I was only doing as I was told.”

  He nodded. “Good girl.”

  I flinched again but let it go. I took my backpack, Becket, and got the fuck out of there.

  I didn’t say anything as we walked to the restaurant because I didn’t want to say anything. Something bad happened, and I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. Good or bad with my reasoning, it was still a cruel thing to that man who was now wondering why he was hurt. At least I made sure he wouldn’t scar.

  “I’m sorry,” Becket said to me when we were almost there. “I... I’m sorry.”

  I stopped and turned my entire body to face him. Taking both his hands, I said, “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. Not tonight, and not any night. You, Becket, have the only white soul in this whole damn world. I don’t, and never will, blame you for any of it. So have dinner with me, pretend that the world isn’t so ugly for a couple of hours. Then I’m going to take you somewhere special, and we’re going to look at the stars. Then I’m going to take you back to my bedroom, we’re going to sleep, you’re going to hold me, and keep the bad dreams away. Deal?”

  He nodded once. “Deal.”

  I took him inside only to discover the place had been booked up. All I had to do was tell them my name, and the woman up front perked up. There was always a seat for a Hodkin. I thanked her as she took me and Becket to a table in the back corner, away from everyone else. Becket pulled my chair out for me, and I kissed his cheek.

  “Get anything you want,” I told him when we were alone, as he looked through the menu. “The steak is really good.”

  “Have you been here a lot?”

  I smiled. “Yeah, I get dragged to a lot of places. Or I did, when I was little and they couldn’t find a baby sitter.”

  Becket got a steak just like I did. I also got us some shrimp appetizers to start out with. We were offered wine but I said no. It didn’t seem to matter that we were underage but then again, Lane had always taken it when they offered. It didn’t appeal to me.

  I held Becket’s hand under the table until our food came. As his skin sat against my own, I felt tremors from it, like it was trying to talk to me. It whispered, cried, hurt. Becket was hurting, and I could feel it. He didn’t tell me why, and I didn’t feel like I had the right to ask. I still wanted it to go away.

  When the meal was over, our waitress brought us a chocolate cake that we didn’t order. “From Mr. Holmes,” she said. “He hopes you’re enjoying your meal.”

  I smiled kindly at her. “You can tell him that it’s been a lovely meal, thank you. I’d love to say hi to him before we go.”

  She nodded, then took right off.

  Becket looked at me, and I explained to him that Mr. Holmes was the owner. “I’ve known him since I was a kid,” I said. “He always made me French fries.”

  “He sounds nice.”

  When the man came out, I gave him a hug while Becket stood back. He wasn’t very good with people, so I didn’t force him into something uncomfortable. I only introduced them, keeping my arm laced with Becket’s the whole time.

  “Nice to meet you,” Mr. Holmes said. “I hope you had a nice time.”

  “I did, sir. Thank you for your hospitality,” Becket said.

  I thanked him again too, and told him that I would let my father know how much we enjoyed our time. Then it was time to go, and I wanted to bring Becket somewhere only I knew.

  In reality, someone else had to know about this place. That didn’t matter to me because I’d never seen another soul out here. Not even once. It was deep in the woods but not too far from where my house was. Nothing particularly special about it, other than the way it made me feel. I could look up and see the stars while being surrounded by trees.

  I laid out the blanket I’d brought and the sweater I had just in case. Using the sweater as a pillow, I laid Becket down next to me.

  Taking his hand again, I said, “I want to make you feel safe, Becket. And cared for. You deserve that.”

  His head turned to me, fixing me with a puzzled look. With pure honesty, he said, “I don’t understand why you think that.”

  “Maybe you will one day. For now, we should look at the stars.”

  Eventually, I turned onto my side, putting my head on his shoulder. I laid there, hurting all over for him. I could not imagine having a father like he did. Trusting someone with all of you, only to be betrayed at every turn. Becket should have been loved the right way. He should have had that safety children got before they figured out how awful things really were. No one did that for him, and his mother chose to leave. Sat him on a bench, letting him watch her walk away. How could anyone walk away from Becket?

  The night went on, getting colder and darker. I still didn’t want to go home, and my phone had been utterly silent. It looked like I was lucky enough to be forgotten for the evening.

  “Can you draw something for me?” I asked Becket, sitting up so I could see him.

  “What do you want me to draw?”

  I shrugged. “Whatever you want to.”

  He sat up as well, as I dug through my backpack. “Did you bring paper?”

  I handed him a bundle of pens, shaking my head. “I’d rather you draw something on me. If you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t.”

  Good.

  Reaching behind me, I found the zipper of my dress and pulled it down. My heart pounded. I couldn’t make eye contact with Becket as I pushed the dress down to my hips, revealing my very naked chest before I put my hair over my shoulder and laid on my stomach. I wanted to know if it would be as good in real life as it had been in my daydream. I wanted his hands on me again.

  Becket didn’t say anything, and I didn’t know what that meant. Did he like what he saw, or did it not register at all with him? I couldn’t begin to guess. It was all probably just skin in his eyes.

  Something whispered in the back of my mind, reminding me what he’d said to those girls. He didn’t want them because he wanted me. How did he want me? My instinct was to think it was as a friend but he touched me. He would have done more if I didn’t stop him. Becket wasn’t a naïve boy, so he understood what he was doing. Why didn’t my brain want to believe it, then?

  His hand slid slowly up my back, and I closed my eyes. Every second of contact was blissful.

  “You have bruises,” he told me. “Faded... but I don’t like them. Can I make them go away?”

  “Yes.”

  His hands kept moving on me, starting at my lower back and going up to my shoulders. Becket gently pressed against me, and I almost sighed in pleasure. The bruises had to have been gone already because I couldn’t even remember what pain felt like. Not in my ribs either. He
made it all go away.

  I thought Becket would be finished by now but he wasn’t. It made me smile to myself. His fingers danced along the curves of my back, taking their time against me. Everything was warm and safe when Becket was there with me. I knew it better than I knew anything else in the world. Becket didn’t want to hurt me. Not to make himself feel better, to punish me, to take control, or for fun. He wanted me because he liked when I was around. Something in me wanted to believe that he missed me when I wasn’t there.

  His fingers moved to my sides, and I gasped softly when they went up my hips. I waited in anticipation when they didn’t stop traveling, and I felt excitement prickling at my skin. I hoped he didn’t notice the goosebumps but I doubted I would have been so lucky. My teeth bit into my lip when Becket’s fingertips caressed the sides of my breasts, slowing.

  He stopped then, and I heard a pen clicking. I missed his skin on mine but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t tell him that mine hummed for his, or that it almost hurt when he took his hands away. I let him draw instead.

  I enjoyed the smell of the ink as he drew something that was a complete mystery. That wasn’t the point of it. I wanted him to have a safe place that was entirely his. No one would harm his art if I wore it.

  I didn’t know how much time went by before I heard him sigh sadly. When I asked what was wrong, he said, “I ran out of room.”

  That wasn’t a shock to me. I’d felt the pen touch every inch of my back, my hips, and my shoulder blades. But that was an easy fix, and I fought a smile when I came up with it.

  I turned over, putting myself on full display for Becket. Again, I couldn’t begin to tell what he was thinking because his expressions were so small. I would know him much better in a month or so. For now, I didn’t know if he liked this. I also didn’t know what made me do it. Why was I testing this out? I didn’t want him thinking all I wanted from him was what those girls had been seeking. At least I doubted he would think less of me.

  “It’s okay?” he asked me.

  I nodded.

  Carefully, he tilted my head to the side, starting at my shoulders. When he got to my neck, I giggled at the feeling.